There were no Pyrgic Puzzles in The Guardian last week (25th December, 2010), and some readers spoke of going `cold turkey` this Christmas. But both Pyrgic and Wordplay will reappear next Saturday, so it`s hardly the beginning of the Dark Ages. And besides there are both Fry's English Delight on BBC Radio 4 (December 28th) and my chat with Stephen Fry about Wordplay (see link below) to weigh up. The most that can be needed, then, is a St Bernard bearing a barrel of bafflers; a small Red Cross parcel of brain-food to sustain one, to tide one over this short dark tea-time of the soul. So here`re a few puzzles to mull over in the meantime... 
1.”The ICC match referee Ranjan Madugalle said that as captain of his country his actions were unacceptable”.So spake the voice on the evening news on the radio. Pedanticus hit the radio with an old bat. What had bowled him over?
1.”The ICC match referee Ranjan Madugalle said that as captain of his country his actions were unacceptable”.So spake the voice on the evening news on the radio. Pedanticus hit the radio with an old bat. What had bowled him over?
2. Christmas Past saw Scrooge buying just enough crackers for everyone present to pull a cracker with someone. Christmas Present finds him buying just enough crackers for someone to pull with everyone with a single cracker left over. Christmas Future will see him buying just enough crackers for everyone to pull with everyone. Of course no-one would be so frivolous as to pull a cracker with himself, and Scrooge woudln't dream of pulling a cracker with anyone. He always has exactly the same number of guests at all his parties. If the number of crackers he bought for Christmas Past added to the number he bought for Christmas Present equals the number he will buy for Christmas Future how many guests does he always have?
3. Tertius Threeman of Tring had two sons. He left them his field which was in the shape of an equilateral triangle. They were to divide this in two with a single straight-line section of the same sort of fencing as that which already defined the perimeter of the whole plot of land. Tertius clearly had it in mind that each son have the same area, but that's not what the will said, and it is what the will says that ultimately counts. It required only that the fencing used to delineate the perimeter of each of the two shares of land should be equal in length. (Well, it said the two shares must be 'isoperimetric'.) As a result Primus (exercising the rights of his seniority) divided the field in a way that was most advantageous to himself. What fraction was left to Secundus? If originally 6 miles of fencing was required to fence off the land how much extra fencing was required when the land was divided?
4. Each of the 3 Stooges pulls a cracker with each and every other one. Each cracker contains a paper hat. What are the chances that each
one gets a hat? Now do the same, but for the Three Musketeer and d`Artagnan.
5. Mme Ceci (née Cela) bought each of the other 4 members of her family a present each of which she duly wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree and each of which she carefully labelled with a label other than that for the person for whom the present was intended. The four correct labels were there, of course, and the 4 correct presents but each one was mismatched. Of course this is by now a familiar ritual so that no-one picks up a present with his own or her own name on it, but deliberately chooses a different one at random. What are the chances that everyone picking up a parcel with someone else's name on gets his or her present?
6.After only a year's acquaintance an admired but undeserving person was peppered with gifts after the numerical fashion of the old ditty The Twelve Days Of Christmas (On the first day one present, on the second 2 presents plus 1 present, on the third day 3 presents, 2 presents and 1 present and so on with arithmetical inevitability). And when this bout of giving was over the True Love quite naturally asked for feedback, only to learn that the object of his obsessive generosity (if such it was) felt that as they had been going out for a whole year she was still one short. What was the ungrateful and unworthy object of his affections on about?
7. On Uranus the year is longer and so it has been decided that Christmas there has 999 days. How many presents can a Uranian expect over The 999 days of Christmas on Uranus?8. The initial letters of which carol spell out OSWIM? And which OHAT?
9. What does a selfish person give his friends for Christmas?
comments: pyrgic@puzzlemaster.co.uk
Chris and Stephen Fry discuss Wordplay:
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